Baby

I wanted to write down my feelings that I have had this past week. I want to tell our family and friends how grateful I am for them. I have felt your kindness and love, and we are so thankful and feel truly blessed to have you all in our lives. I have appreciated the thoughtful phone calls and visits. I am grateful for my loving husband who lets me cry on his shoulder. He is a comfort to me and I love him very much.

For those of you who didn't know; I was 17 weeks pregnant and went to the doctors for a check up. I had an ultrasound, and our baby had died. I cannot describe in words how I felt. It was an incredibly difficult day. Tony was by my side the entire day, and I was so grateful for him. It was hard for him too, but he was strong for me in my time of need. I had to have surgury on Thursday. Because I was so far along in my pregnancy I have since had to deal with post baby contractions. My doctor also told me that I will experience baby blues.

Even though it has been a very hard week I am grateful for the things I have learned. I am grateful for our Heavenly Father who offers comfort to me in my real time of need. I have learned, as Elder Maxwell has so eloquently taught, that "the submission of one's will is placing on God's altar the only uniquely personal thing one has to place there. The many other things we 'give' are actually things that He has already given or loaned to us. However, when we finally submit ourselves by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God's will, we will really be giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give"